


My team is so weird

by yellowpretendingtobered



Series: (You Drive Me) Crazy [4]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Comedy, Corny pick-up lines, Crack, Gen, Jesse McCartney is amazing!, Nothing really happens; just fun, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-18
Updated: 2014-02-18
Packaged: 2018-01-12 23:52:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1205131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellowpretendingtobered/pseuds/yellowpretendingtobered
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Diggle contemplates how weird his team really is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My team is so weird

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to do something funny, so all parts of this chapter are just supposed to be humor. I like it a lot. If you like it let me know with a PM or review. I always respond when I can.
> 
> Warning: I don't know if the lyrics are racy, but they are definitely suggestive. If you don't like suggestive lyrics, that's cool, but I love this song and I think it's perfect for my purposes. The song featured is Rock You by Jesse McCartney off of his album Departure. Which is ironic, if anyone knows what I mean let me know and we can share the irony together…

**PART I- O: "How I love thee, let me count the ways" T: "Hey, can I help?" O: "Why not?"**

"Resplendant"

"Surprising"

"Delicate as a flower" Oliver said with a stern smirk that garnered no room for Tommy to doubt his confidence.

"Dazzling" Tommy countered with his naturally playful face taken over by a competitive gleam in his eyes.

"Graceful" Oliver shot back slightly taken by Tommy's choice of adjective. He should've thought of that one first.

Pulling himself up by his boot straps he right hard, he couldn't lose this thing now, "Courageous".

"Damn that was going to be mine...humble" a devilish grin broke out over Tommy's face. He obviously thought that he was going to win this war.

Diggle, who had been watching this scene unfold for the last few minutes in the doorway leading to the main room of Verdant, chose that moment to make his presence known to the other men in the room. "What the hell are you two doing?" He raised his hands up in surrender as he walked further into the room stopping in front of Oliver and Tommy still glaring at each other competitively, continuing on with "I've been trying to figure out what you two were doing, but all I've heard you say for the pay five minutes wee adjectives. Your not describing yourselves because lets be honest neither of you are particularly beautiful...sorry boys"

At the mention of their beauty they broke eye contact with each other turning their glares on Diggle.

"You're just jealous!"

"I'm crazy beautiful, you can't handle it!"

They both quipped at the same time. Diggle let out a low chuckle at their antics. "What are you two really doing? Other than comparing each other to the sun"

Oliver and Tommy looked at each other deciding silently if they should let Digg in on the game. After a minute Tommy nodded his head, setting the scene "Long story short we had an emotional talk then I told Oliver that he had no idea what he has, to which he so eloquently replied" then in his best Arrow voice Tommy continued, "'I know wxactly what I have'. Then somehow we started a war to see who could come up with the most realistic adjectives to describe Felicity. Weird when you say it out loud".

Digg considered the sight before him and was deep in thought for a few minutes before saying anything. He was secretly engaging in his own civil war, before he nodded his head and addressed the two men standing in front of him. "Trust me boys, there is more than one side to Felicity. Follow me and keep quiet. This is a recon mission, stay quiet and in the shadows. As soon as we get down there if your caught its everyman for himself. We never speak of this again. Understood?" The boys agreed to Digg's cryptic instructions before following him to the entrance of the lair. The entire team had taken the day off, but Oliver had needed to help Tommy with real club errands and Diggle had come by to pick up some gear that he'd left the other night, after they got back from taking down another target, he'd been too drained to cart it back home yesterday.

When they got to the entrance Digg turned around putting a finger to his lips in order to signal for silence. They then descended the stairs as quietly as the ninjas Felicity is constantly comparing them to. Even Tommy had managed to keep quiet as he groped the wall in an effort to move to the far back wall, closest to the stairs, where he wouldn't be seen, but still have access to the stairs if things went haywire. Oliver soundlessly jumped to an overhead beam. Pulling himself up he positioned himself so that he was sitting on the overhead rafter with a clear view of what Digg must have brought them down to witness. Digg himself had stayed on the stairs. He was hidden behind the low lighting. He blended right in, there was no way that she'd catch a glimpse of him there.

Oliver and Tommy watched as Felicity worked with music blasting on her computer singing along. _[I don't want just anyone to hold_

_I don't want my love to go to waste_

_I want you and your beautiful soul…]_ Felicity was more laid back in a tight fitted black t-shirt and grey sweat pants. She was wearing her hair down today under some sort of baseball cap. So far there was nothing out of the ordinary. Both men turned their gaze to Digg who silently mouthed ' wait for it'. A few seconds later the song ended and a new one began. This song had an edgier beat than the ballod that she'd just been singing along too. She was dancing in her chair while singing along to the music.

_[What you see, is something that you need_

_Spend the night with me and I'll rock you (rock you)_

_Oh believe, you ain't been intrigued_

_Till you follow me and I'll rock you (rock you)]_

It took a few minutes to understand what the song was about, but there was no denying it when the chorus began. _[All I wanna do is get at you and lock like a seat belt (belt)_

_Eat at your heart like the drums on my beat felt (felt)_

_You and me we gonna travel like a visa_

_And I ain't worried 'bout what I'm spendin' either_

_And I'ma rock you I gotta see that hey hey hey_

_Girl I'll rock you come give me some of that hey hey hey hey_

_You want a love and I just wanna feel it for the night_

_Pull you somethin' that'll make sure you'll be feelin' alright_

_You want to work you wanna be the boss of my house_

_Well you must not have a clue_

_Of what that ticket's gonna cost you_

_I'ma rock you]_ When it did play Felicity turned her cap to side, got to her feet and started to dance. She shook her hips in a such a suggestive manner that both of the men looked completely shocked, then in the next minute had to hold in their laughter. She looked like she was about to start break dancing in a minute. This was so un-Felicity-like. Oliver tore his eyes away from the petite blonde dynamo dancing on the ground beneath him and turned to look first at Digg's smirking face, obviously trying to hold himself together, then at Tommy's awe struck face. Tommy turned his head up to meet Oliver's eyes and they both mouthed the only thought on both of their brains in that moment "Holy Crap".

**PART II- STOP TRYING TO HIT ON ME!**

Digg noticed that something was up with his team recently. He'd been a soldier, seen death, done some hard things, but he'd also been younger. He had messed around with friends. This was different though, watching Tommy and Oliver recently had proved to be…weird. Everytime one of them saw Felicity they almost ran to her.

The first time that he noticed something was up was down in the foundry. Oliver had just come down from the club and sauntered over to Felicity. He had his hand on her shoulder while she regailed him with the newest details concerning their next target. Then he leant down and whispered something that left her visably pailer with a slight smile on her face. After a moment Felicity let out a "Excuse me?" which was only met with "You heard what I said". Then Oliver was dressing in his gear and gone. Felicity had said she didn't want to talk about what he'd said to her.

The next time that it happened was when Digg had come back with lunch for everyone. It was a Saturday so they were working things out for their nightly job. Felicity had wanted to eat lunch out of the basement and they'd all agreed to take it upstaires. Tommy had been working up in the club and was invited to sit with them.

When he came back Oliver had gone to the bathroom and Tommy was leaning dangerously close to Felicity. She seemed only mildly uncomfortable by the situation when she suddenly saw Digg from the corner of her eyes. Her head snapped to the side so quickly she almost had whiplash. As she rose to her feet she told Tommy, "That's the worste I've heard yet. Better step up your game Merlyn". Then she was tearing into her pizza.

A few more occassions had occurred like this until Digg couldn't take it anymore! He waited until Oliver was out patrolling by himself. He muted the comms and looked Felicity straight in the eye. "What the hell is going on with you three? Why are Oliver and Tommy constantly surrounding you?" Digg was prepared to play it cool and casually bring it up, but he didn't feel like beating around the bush. Maybe the direct approach would work better than, "What was that?" had previously done.

"What?" she looked geniunly confused for a minute before a bright smile lit up her face. "Oh, you mean the game." She continued after a moment of silence which he purposefully let hang there hoping he wouldn't have to actually ask. "The boys, I say boys because it is so childish, I swear I don't know how they have survived this long. Actually, maybe just Tommy. I can imagine how Oliver went about surviving, although he hasn't said anything about the island, but I've seen him be al Arrow-y fighting, killing people with his bare hands and arrows, and knives, and…wait what were we talking about?" she shook her head to get back on track, "Oh, right, the game. They started this game behind my back. The goal is to see how many cheezy pick up lines they can use on me before I accept a date from one of them. You wouldn't believe some of the stuff these guys have tried on me. Want to hear some?" She wiggled her eyebrows at him as she asked. He did the only thing that he could, he nodded, with a smile playing on his lips.

"They must be really stupid if they think you'll fall for a pick up line" he voiced as she opened up a document on her tablet.

"Oh, but you haven't heard them yet. I wrote down all of the good ones, the bad ones, and the ridiculous ones…so all of them. They cornered me any chance they could get. At work, at the coffee shop, calling me at home, in the foundry, Verdant, everywhere! Okay, here we go…

 _Are you an interior decorator? 'Cause when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful._ Tommy, upstairs in Verdant, horribly bad.

 _Do you have a BandAid? I just scraped my knee falling for you._ Oliver, at the office, in front of Isobel! Slightly better.

 _If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer._ Tommy, kind of origional. He cornered me outside the office when I was leaving. He'd come just to get turned down with that.

 _Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine._ Tommy again. We were in Verdant and it was actually funny, because a waiter hit into him and spilled his drink all over his shirt.

 _You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line._ Oliver. I have nothing to say about that one.

Oh, god. My favorite is this one. Tommy was trying to offer me a ride home, but then Oliver came out and put an end to it. At the time I was thankful until he was helping me into the car. He leaned over and said, and I quote, 'Kiss me if I'm wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?' I screamed, slammed the door and peeled out of the lot."

"Oh my god. Those boys are too much…did any of them win yet? Will you let them win?" Digg asked through his laughter.

"Oh, of course one will win. Which ever speaks the magic line will even get a kiss. My first boyfriend used a pickup line to meet me and it's always been my favorite"

"Care to share what it is?"

"I can't the walls have ears everywhere" she pointed to the comm and the stairs simultaneously.

Three hours later, Oliver came back from patrol. Digg was just walking into the room when he saw Felicity leaning up on her toes kissing Oliver. "Well, I guess someone said the magic words, what were they?"

Felicity smiled up at Oliver as he spoke, never breaking eye contact with her, the kiss had been really unexpected, but not unwelcome, "I love you like a fat kid loves cake".

**Author's Note:**

> Isn't that everyone's favorite pick up line? NO? Ok, maybe just mine. I love cheezy pick up lines they make me so happy. Thanks for reading! Leave a comment if you want!


End file.
